Three years ago I lost my "Jane", the woman I've spent my lifetime with, and the woman who was the mother of our two delightful and admirable daughters. I lost her sooner than I expected, quicker than seemed possible, but now three years on the wounds have begun to close over slightly...perhaps. But nonetheless I will never betray the memory of the woman I loved and the l woman I still love.
My "Jane" is no longer here for me to talk to to and to laugh with and to take care of. And she's no longer here to take care of me as I stand on the brink of retirement. I step into the unknown without her wisdom and guidance and support. She helped me order my disordered life and as the cards get shuffled again, I miss my lover all the more.