Wednesday, April 15, 2015
When Babes Ruled The Earth!
I finally got to see the Hammer caveman epic When Dinosaurs Ruled The Earth. Produced hot on the heels of the successful One Million B.C. which introduced the world to Raquel Welch in her delightful fur bikini, this one gives us Victoria Vetri in an even more revealing sliver of clothing.
The overarching plot of the movie (and there is a mild spoiler here) is that in some mythical moment in the deep past when man and dinosaurs somehow held sway together on the planet it did not yet have its Moon, but it would get one. That's pretty much the plot if you ignore all the scrimmaging around various and sundry actors do as they rush around trying to finish off Vetri's character named "Sanna".
She was to be a sacrifice to the Sun, but escaped and the rest of the movie is about how the Cliff People try to find and kill her though she has come under the protection of the Beach People. Sanna escapes again and finds herself reborn (sort of) and in command of a pretty neat dinosaur in a King Kong-ish moment. Her lover Tara finds her a few times and eventually after long long minutes of scampering about they get together as Earth gets its Moon.
The movie is handsomely done and offers up some pretty cave dwellers (who almost never go into caves) but spend time mostly on the beach. There are a few different dinosaurs, some stop-motion and some not who really don't seem to be much of a threat to people unless the people insist on walking right in on top of them.
This movie seems mostly to be about Vetri and other pretty actresses strutting about in nearly the all-together, and to be fair there's quite a bit of skin for man fans too. The movie hasn't enough plot twists of sufficient variety though to keep me on my toes throughout. Slash out about twenty minutes, maybe a few more and you might have a movie which earns its keep.