Wednesday, April 22, 2015

The Last Lovecraft!

Well at least it didn't lie on the box. It was "equal measure" of "laughs and scares" in that it had exactly zero of each. The Last Lovecraft - Relic of CThulhu is pretty much a bomb of a movie. I found this flick for tiny money at Half-Price Books and was sufficiently intrigued by the apparent attempt to bring a comedy angle to the Lovecraft Mythos that I actually thought this might work. It still might, but not here.

It's a pretty good premise. The evil acolytes of C'Thulhu are intent on bringing back the Great Old Ones to rule the Earth and need only the second half of an ancient icon after its mate was discovered hidden in the desert. To that end they attack the keepers of the icon who quickly dispatch it to the last heir of H.P. Lovecraft himself, the one man who demonstrated the apparent genetic ability to stave off the madness nearly always created by the presence of the agents of the Elder Gods. That last living Lovecraft turns out to be a tweny-something slacker who along with his best bud are given charge of the icon and seek to escape the Star-Spawn and Deep Ones who chase them. They round up an even nerdier Lovecraft afficianado from high school and the trio then seek out some old sailor who once upon a time battled the Deep Ones and lived.

I frankly surprised myself that it took that long to sketch out the plot, since I didn't detect that much happening at the time in this supremely boring movie. The heroes are singularly unfunny and powerfully unlikeable. The actors here are clearly trying to evoke the down-on-their-luck loser charm emitted by Simon Peg and Nick Frost in their buddy movies, but utterly fail at it. In point of fact the movie seems to kill of some dopplegangers of Peg and Frost at the very beginning of the movie; I couldn't tell if this was a valentine or a middle finger to the team, but it's almost the highlight of this movie and that's the first few minutes.

To be fair there are some decent special effects in the movie, but it's the live action stuff which hamstrings the proceedings. The cast, with a few exceptions, is simply not very good. Wooden acting is the most apt description. The final battle which takes place in a RV is a cluttered mess with no tension and barely sufficient blocking.

This movie had little budget, that's clear. I don't hold that against them, but when it comes to these endeavors the cheapest thing you have as a creator are the humans who are willing to showcase themselves and frankly it just doesn't work. This movie is the worst thing an entertainment can be - dull. See this one at your own peril.

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